• American credit and debit cards don’t work at Dutch grocery stores (Somebody fix this)
• Foodhallen and Red Light District on a Sunday
• Marijuana is “illegal” in Amsterdam
• Bitterballens
• Boat accident on the canals are okay if you have Rosé
• How to cook a meal in a quasi-kitchen
• Beach Wine
• The Hague

American credit and debit cards don’t work at Dutch grocery stores

On Sunday we jump on a Flixbus; destination Amsterdam. We arrive at the train station and head straight to our Airbnb. Jairo and his mom meet us at the door and show us our room that overlooks a school playground and a river. This place is way nicer/cleaner/bigger/friendlier than Maax’s penthouse. We are on the outskirts of Amsterdam, but it’s easy to hop on the tram to get into the city. Jairo gives us directions to the nearest grocery store. We are in need of fruits and vegetables… something healthy. The grocery store is a trip because neither of us know the language, so we are constantly referring to our buddy Google Translate.  We insert our card in the checkout line and the reader turns red with some gibberish on the screen. Denied! We try our other debit card with a chip, thinking it is a reader that needs a pin as well. Denied! Luckily we have a little cash on us for situations like this. Back in the Airbnb kitchen, Jairo tells us that most dutch grocery stores do not accept American cards. They all have an ATM inside for us foreigners.

Foodhallen and Red Light District on a Sunday

Stocked up on groceries, we hop on a tram searching (of course) for more food. We pick the Foodhallen, on the southwest side of Amsterdam, which reminds us of the Milwaukee Public Market. Two floors of food vendors with delicacies from all over the world. I am still feeling a bit under the weather (scratchy throat and stuffy nose) and Kristin procures a wellness shot of ginger and mysterious herbs from a hippy stand. That thing was strong. It’s easier to take shots of whiskey. It does clear me up for the moment and we walk to explore the city. We snag a bottle of wine and relax a bit in Vondelpark, going through withdrawal as we watch humans with their dogs. I keep telling Kristin to play cool and some dogs will come up to her. A few little Scouts come our way.

Photo from a livelier Tuesday night stroll.

Heading back to take our tram we walk through the Red Light District. It’s Sunday evening and the streets are not busy. We follow the flow of red neon signs down the street and there is the occasional sex worker posted up in the doorway with their red curtain pulled aside. In the lighting the women (didn’t see any men) resemble a mannequin, looking almost plastic. I want to tell you about the other shows and museums in the neighborhood, but let’s keep this PG for the time being.

Marijuana is “illegal” in Amsterdam

It’s 10:30am and we are waiting for our walking tour to start with Axel, who is Amsterdam born and raised. The Texas Longhorn backpack throws us for a loop a bit, but he reassures us that he is Dutch. He brings up the Dutch East India Trading Company and how after some squabbles with the Spaniards, they become the biggest corporation to ever exist. Instead of having the super rich invest in one ship to bring back spices, the company allowed smaller investors and pooled that money together in order to add to their fleet. If it still existed today it would be worth 7.3 trillion dollars (Don’t quote me on this, I wasn’t taking notes). Alex talks a lot about the tolerance and pragmatism of the Dutch. The Dutch accept all walks of life, mainly because they like money. The legalization of prostitution took place in 2001 in Amsterdam. Today the Red Light District is one of the safest paces in the city because of this legalization. The citizens are happier, the workers are happier, and the patrons are happier as well.

The concept of legality is a little fuzzy here. Alex gives us the word “geodogen” which loosely translates to “illegal but officially tolerated.” Weed falls under this category. If you want to smoke or enjoy an edible, you go to a “coffee shop.” You do not go to a “coffee shop” for good coffee. If you want coffee, you go to a café. If someone complains that “illegal” activity is going on in the coffee shops, police will talk about how there are thousands of coffee shops in the city, How can they be expected to inspect them all?

Our walking guide Axel. I really need to start getting serious about taking better pictures…

This is the narrowest canal house in Amsterdam. In the 1600s, taxes were paid based on the width of your house. So this guy figured it out.

The walking tour has many other highlights, but I’ll leave you with the last word of advice from our guide. We are in front of the biggest conservative church in the city, which is also the site of the Homomonument (the Dutch aren’t very creative with naming). The Homomonument commemorates anyone who has ever been oppressed because of their sexuality. Ah yes, the quote, “Be who you want to be. Believe what you want to believe. Just don’t be a dick about it.”

The monument is three pink triangles set in the ground that form a larger triangle. Hard to get a good photo, so here’s the sign 🙂

Other walking tour highlights

• The famous Canals were hand dug in 1600. The bottom of the canals consist of three main layers, in this order, from top to bottom: water, bunch o’ bikes, mud
  • When drunk British people fall in they get caught on the bikes and drown (His words not mine)
• Most houses have hooks to bring goods into the windows
• Catholicism was “outlawed” in the Netherlands
  • This led to secret churches which was another “geodogen” example
• Bikes. Lots of bikes

A ton of unique bikes with passenger seats in the weirdest spots.

canals, canals, canals

Bitterballens

After the walking tour, we relax on the patio of Black and Blue with a much needed cheese board, before heading back to the Airbnb. From our HQ, we jump on the tram again and head the opposite direction from city center to the beach at Haveneiland. At a beach cafe, we fail miserably at using google translate with the menu, but end up ordering bitterballen. Delicious little fried balls with meat in the middle and a some dipping dijon on the side. I also order a wheat beer (witbier) and the waiter thinks I want a weed beer, and proceeds to tell me they don’t have that at his establishment. It’s a cloudy and very windy evening with a dozen or so kite surfers flying around the bay area. I start to track all of the new beers we enjoy by downloading the Untapp’d app. At the moment I am averaging a few new beers a day. Sad or impressive, you be the judge. To follow my drinking journey: https://untappd.com/user/srempala.

Boat accident on the canals are okay if you have Rosé

Tuesday we wake up late (funemployed am i right?), and go into the city. In’t Aepjen is the first stop. It’s a bar that was popular with sailors back in the day. These sailors would bring monkeys back from their trips and when they ran out of money for booze, would trade those monkeys to the bar to keep that tab going.

The monkey bar in all its glory

Canal tour is next on our list and we hop on a boat with about 6 other people for a new perspective of the city. The electric boat is quiet, so you can still take in everything going on around you. Boats, just like cars, have horns and will honk them when warranted. I am sitting looking up at the beautiful houses when I hear a horn, but don’t see anything. The next sound we hear is a crash as we rear end a smaller boat in front of us. A sassy, 70-something Dutch woman is the captain of that small vessel and she motions for our boat to pull over. Even though the words mean nothing to me, I have a fairly good idea what she is saying to our boat guide. The only damage done was a bent flag on the smaller boat and our driver smoothed everything over by providing beer and some chilled Rosé to our new friends. And just like that, we keep cruising the canal. A canal cruise is one of the best ways to see the city. Do not pass up the opportunity.

Sassy Sue is in the striped shirt. Note our guide getting ready to hand over that bottle.

Café Chris is another stop on the list today. Opening its doors in 1624, it is one of the oldest bars in the area. Thanks to Kristin’s planning, the Anne Frank house is also on the agenda. You have to buy tickets months in advance if you want to go, and it is a must see. I’ll save some of these stories when for when I see you beautiful people in person.

My beautiful wife sitting outside Cafe Chris

How to cook a meal in a quasi-kitchen

From Amsterdam, we head to Katwijk, which is a small town on the sea, in order to plan our next move. We arrive in Katwijk on a sunny and windy day and bee line straight for the beach where we lay out our towels and and soak in some of that sunshine, waiting to check into our Airbnb. Our place is a small studio (to ourselves) with a bathroom and kitchenette. I am craving a proper home cooked meal and we make our way to the grocery store for some supplies.

Katwijk on the sea

The courtyard of our AirBNB in Katwijk.

Most of these smaller kitchens come with one pot and one pan. There is no oven. This is a bit limiting when trying to meal plan, but we have chicken and broccoli one night, cheeseburgers and green beans the next night and eggs in the morning. Kristin is working on her freelance website duties during this time and we start planning to head south, destination France. With some plans in place, Kristin hits the beach in the afternoon and I go for a run around Katwijk. Walking around the city Thursday evening, we stop in a Tapas restaurant for a bite to eat. Menu language choice is Dutch, German, or Spanish and we choose Spanish. Also, during this time, we do our first loads of laundry. Doesn’t sound very exciting, but I am pumped. Clean clothes! Woohoo!

Beach Wine

During one of my runs Kristin decides to head to the beach. Being the responsible beach goer she is, she fills up a plastic water bottle with wine. This is the same plastic water bottle I had been using while I was feeling under the weather. Kristin washes is out, thinking the germs will be eradicated by the power of Dutch Dawn. No luck. She gets back from the beach complaining of a sore throat. We hop ourselves up on Zicam and Vitamin C and continue to explore, while our immune systems fight the good fight.

Katwijk aan zee

The Hague

Located in South Holland, The Hague is home to my friend from college, Lieke. Kristin and I arrive by bus and start to walk around the city. A little rain forces us to make a quick restaurant decision in the Plein square. In my haste of ordering a drink, I ask for a water, but don’t specify tap water. Rookie mistake. I end up with a fancy 3 dollar water. Should’ve just ordered a beer… Lieke joins us and we talk about The Hague and our travels.  With a former and current Cerner employee at the table, the talk turns to work and acronyms I don’t understand. It’s very nice to see a friendly face and catch up. The lunch is short and sweet as we run to catch our next Flixbus. Destination: Lille.