Hey guys we have finally changed continents! Georgia started to get cold, so we’re headed to warmer weather.

Southeast Asia is what I would consider the next big leg of our trip.

To kick off the planning, we gather recommendations from friends and fellow travelers. I then plot all the recommendations using Google’s MyMaps. This gives us a rough outline for a logical route. Our big picture itinerary takes us through Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia. We book a flight from Tbilisi to the Thai island of Phuket.

We Visit Russia…Kind Of

Nearly all of the flights from Tbilisi route through Moscow, and we get excited when we find one that has a 36 hour layover in the Russian capital.

We’ve been eyeing Russia for awhile and Stephen was particularly excited to attempt to add Russia to our travels. Unfortunately it’s pretty difficult and takes lots of planning for US citizens to get a Russian visa. You start by getting an invitation from a Russian citizen to apply for a visa, and then you have to go to a Russian embassy to apply. Lot of work, for potential of little return.

As I’m digging through the internet, I’m excited to find a potential loophole. Russia does allow a “layover visa” for foreigners to leave the airport and explore the city between flights. But, thanks to the current state of the love-affair-gone-south between Putin and Trump, US citizens aren’t allowed this priv. Thanks Trump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the end of the day, we technically get to walk on Russian soil–er, tarmac–from the plane to the terminal.

Thailand

We plan to spend the full amount of time allotted by our tourist visa in Thailand, which is 30 days. Here is our itinerary through our first Asian country, which you’ll receive in two installments:

• Hostel near Kata Beach on Phuket. We had planned to do some island excursions from this location like Koh Phi Phi (where The Beach was filmed) but it turned out to be pretty expensive, so instead we spent our time at Kata Beach and Kata Noi Beach. We book seven days here, ya know, to acclimate to the sun and everything 😉
• Bus + Ferry to Koh Tao. This is the island where we plan to get our scuba dive certification. This is a five night stay.
• Koh Samui. This is the exciting one… because we get to meet up with friends!!!! We get to spend three nights here.
• From Koh Samui, we make our way to Bangkok by ferry and bus. We’ll stay in Bangkok for just two nights before heading north.
• Our last stop in Thailand is Chiang Mai. People freaking love this city. It’s home to tons of ex-pats and digital nomads. We happened to be lucky enough to be in the city during Yi Peng, which is better known to Westerners as the Lantern Festival. If you aren’t familiar, think of the movie Tangled and you’ve got the idea.

Kata Beach, Phuket

It’s dark by the time we land in Phuket, and we approach the island shuttle desk and are directed to a van that delivers us directly to our hostel near Kata beach. We’d experienced crazy traffic in Georgia, but for even more highway fun, Thailand throws in two additional elements:

1. Millions of motorbikes. Everywhere. Hundreds of them zipping through traffic while beeping their little horns.
2. Left lane driving. As a passenger, you just buckle up and pray.

We’ve booked a room at Sleepy Station, which is pretty telling of what we value most now that we’re in our 30s (and all our friends with kids are scoffing at this comment right now. Hi guys we miss you!!!). It’s actually a newly built hostel and it’s really nice. This time we book a private room with it’s own bathroom, so it’s basically a hotel room.

We spend our days on the beach and our nights relaxing at Sleepy Station. We meet some fun people during our week here, including two Germans who are doing the opposite route through SE Asia as us and terrify us with their tales of motorbike accidents and horrible sleeper bus rides.

Also, as tasked by Josh Hillen, we asked them for a good, typical German joke. They delivered:

Note: this joke must be repeated in your thickest, most deadpan German accent. Absolutely no facial expressions.
Q: How many Germans does it take a screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. We efficient, not funny.

Now is the time for those beach photos everyone loves, especially after the long winter many of you had to endure this year. Enjoy.

Cultural Notes

Here are just a few cultural things I notice right away about Thailand that I wanted to share.

• The restaurants are different.

• No shoes inside. I was aware of this part of Asian culture, and I like clean floors, so this one gets a big thumbs up from me.

• Bowing. In Thailand, the culture is very respectful, and everyone bows to everyone in greeting or thanks. After a day or two, this starts coming naturally and I really like this custom.

• Animism. This is the first country on our trip that isn’t majority Christian. I know the dominant religion is Buddhism, but I learn that the majority of Thais also practice Animism, which is a belief that spiritual beings are responsible for the fortune or fate of humans. At every business, every home, every plot of land you’ll see a tiny house, usually raised or on stilts that is situated at the front of the property. It’s at these houses that people will leave offerings or gifts to the spirits of the property. I’m sure I’m wayyy over simplifying, but it is really interesting to witness the devotion the people have to this belief. Offerings include flower leis, fruits, plates of food and last but most import, apparently the crowd favorite, strawberry Fanta (with a plastic straw, of course).

• Plastic. Because of the street food culture in Thailand (and most of Asia), there is a ridiculous amount of plastic waste. Plastic plates, plastic straws, plastic cutlery, plastic handle added to your plastic takeaway cup, double plastic bags when you purchase fruit or produce. Single bananas from 7-Eleven… packaged in plastic. I realize that at home in the states, we likely use the same amount of single-use plastic. The difference is once we dispose of it, it is taken away by the magic sanitation worker to a far away place where you never have to lay eyes on it again. In Thailand, especially on the islands, it’s difficult to have that type of infrastructure, so lots of the garbage ends up in empty lots or along the side of the road. I try my hardest in Thailand to refuse plastic at every opportunity. As we’ve talked about before, we have no trouble getting along with our own grocery bag, collapsable silicone takeaway containers, reusable water bottles, metal straws, and silverware.

• 7-Eleven. Wow, these guys carry everything and are absolutely everywhere. Now, generally I’m not a gas station food type of person, but 7-Eleven has these toasties that definitely crept their way into my quick and cheap meal plan. The best part is that they toast them to order. When familiar groceries are scarce and you just can’t have another plate of curry or pad thai, hit up 7-Eleven. They’ll cook something up for you.

Koh Samui featuring the DeGraw Sisters

We love when we get to meet up with friends in different countries during our trip. It is one of the highlights of our travels. We also like to splurge occasionally on a nice place to stay. Before we left on our trip, my friend Lauren mentioned she was planning to spend a few weeks in November in SE Asia, and it didn’t take much effort to coordinate a few days with her and her sister Liz at the tail end of their trip.

So when you’re in Thailand, your friends are in Thailand, and your hotel “splurge” equates to a 4-star beachfront resort for less than the cost of a Holiday Inn (because, Thailand), well, we were a little excited.

We arrive at our home for the next few days, Amari Koh Samui. The kindest staff of any of our accommodations so far greets us, and informs us that our luggage (eckehm, backpacks) will be delivered shortly. We are then escorted to our pool-side room.

After some bed jumping and oooing and awwing over amenities (gotta appreciate those little things guys), Liz and Lauren arrive! Their room is just next door and I kinda feel like a high school kid without a chaperone. We grab our towels and head to the beach.

After lounging and participating in the hotel happy hour which is announced by a gong, we freshen up and decide to visit the night markets of Chaweng Beach to see what kind of trouble we can get into.

We Take Thai Language Lessons

The morning of our second day found us on the beach once again. After venturing down the shore to try some local cuisine for lunch, we head back to our hotel because Stephen signed us up for our hotel’s daily activity…Thai language lessons!

Wow. What a difficult language. If I can recall, here’s what we learned:

• In Thai, you’ll commonly see the names Neung, Song, and Sam. We learned that this literally means one, two, and three. So if someone is named Neung, they are the oldest child in their family. If they are Song, they are the second oldest, etc. Side note: I could never get a clarification if these were given names, or nicknames. I think they are actual given names.
• The pitches in Thai are pretty confusing. I believe there are five different pitches that can change the meaning of a single world. Our teacher has us practice this one over and over and well, she is amused to say the least.
• After being out on the town the previous night, we really wanted to get away from the tourism and experience true Thai culture. So we asked if there was a customary local liquor or alcohol that we should try. Our teachers laugh as they told us we could try to get our hands on some “ya dong.” They tell us it will be difficult, because it is only homemade by the very traditional, older generation of Thais. They suggest we ask around at the night market to see if any vendors have a secret stash. Challenge accepted.

The Search Begins

That night, we wander around the market some more with no luck on our quest. On our way back to the hotel, we end up at an excursion office to book an island tour for the next day. As the sales man is writing up our tickets, we ask if he can help us with something. Curious, he looks up and says of course. We ask if he knows where we can find ya dong.

This man’s eyes open as wide as saucers. “Ya dong?” he says.

“Yes, ya dong. Do you know where we can find some?”

His wide-eyed stare breaks into SOBS of laugher. I have never seen a man so incapacitated by laughter in my whole life. He doubles over, crying tears, shaking, coughing, wiping his eyes with an entire toilet paper roll.

“YA DONG!” He scream/laugh/cries at us. “YA DONG?”

We glance at each for the duration of the fit (a good 2-3 minutes). All of the sudden the laughing stop, he says “I just need minute” and wipes his eyes again. He puts his glasses back on, picks up his pen, and continues to write our excursion order.

“No, no ya dong,” he says through one last chuckle and a shake of his bowed head.

Excursion to Koh Mad Sum

The next morning, a shuttle picks us up and we begin our excursion, which includes a short snorkel in a cove near Koh Taen followed by lunch and enjoying the beautiful white sands and warm waters of Koh Mad Sum.

When we arrive to the Koh Mad Sum, our lunch is being prepared and we have a chance to set up in a cabana before it’s ready. They call us to eat and we make our way to the table. On our way, we’re greeted by three or four pigs! They are so curious and basically just rooting around anything and everything, searching for food.

We start to eat our lunch. Out of the corner of my eye, I see one of the workers grab a huge machete from a nearby shed and walk toward where the pigs have gathered near a fenced-in enclosure.

I think to myself, as I watch him saunter over to the pen, Surely he isn’t going to….no!! I gasp and my eyes follow the swing of his machete in disbelief and wait for the squeal of the poor pig, but instead, see that he’s hacked the stalk of a banana tree into two. He hefts half over his shoulder and tosses it over to the pigs. Looks like it is their lunchtime too. He hacks again and throws another piece to the happy hogs.

Quest Complete

After a fun day on yet another beautiful Thai island, we decide on a wonderful place for dinner where we sample a variety of traditional Thai dishes. Since it’s our last night, we agree to inquire about ya dong one final time. The waitress has trouble understanding our request, so she brings the owner of the restaurant over to our table. He greets us, and we repeat our request.

“Ya dong. Really? You want to try that?” he says.

“YES!”

He leaves the table and returns with five shots of ya dong. It’s not what we thought it would be…it’s red colored and tastes, well, like moonshine. And complete satisfaction. Chon-Kaew (aka cheers).

We couldn’t have asked for a better place or better company to spend our last few nights in the Thai islands. The next morning, we endure a 12+ hour-long journey by boat and bus to the Thai city that holds the record for longest official name in the world. The Thai name is (no joke) Krungthepmahanakhon Amonrattanakosin Mahinthara Yutthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udom Ratchaniwet Mahasathan Amonphiman Awatansathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukamprasit.

We just call it Bangkok.